Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
