it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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