and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
