you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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