I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
