FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
