I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
