So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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