so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
