Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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