The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
