arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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