Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
