I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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