i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
