"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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