I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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