So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
