Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
