My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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