Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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