i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
