how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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