I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
