I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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