so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
