I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
