I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
