when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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