Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
