I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
And then he peed in my hair
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