pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
