The brown eye won't let me do that either.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
