I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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