woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
