i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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