Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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