Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
