I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
