it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I looked at my own cervix.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
