I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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