my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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