He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
