i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
