just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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