I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
