is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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