I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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