ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My Sexting was not on an AP level
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
