I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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