When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
