More tranny stories later!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
