You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
